When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears." --Tony Robbins
The following feature article will benefit all--singles and couples! In honor of Thanksgiving, my focus is on gratitude in relationships. We know that happiness in life does not depend entirely on having a close relationship, but a good relationship will certainly enhance happiness and the quality of life in countless ways. If your love life is not going as well as you would like, know that some adjustments can change your luck in love and romance. These words could likely change how you close 2017 too!
Research in the area of romantic relationships and well-being is one of the most popular areas in psychology. We know (for fact) that happy relationships are good for our health. Several long-term studies that followed both successful and unsuccessful couples over time revealed that "showing gratitude" is a common challenge that people face. By learning to appreciate your date or your partner more, you can clip the wings of relationship distress that is a direct result of not appreciating your romantic interest.
Time to look in the mirror! Here are some important questions to ask yourself...
Do you take your partner for granted to an unhealthy degree?
As relationships grow over time, there’s a tendency to let things go like "Honey, you look beautiful today" or "Thank you for all you do--I appreciate you, Babe." Visualize yourself without your partner. Imagine he or she is not there by your side for Thanksgiving or even the BIG December holidays. Picture yourself sleeping alone night after night. These images may prompt you to return to courtship behavior you once showed him or her and certainly you may start showing your partner more affection, interest, and regard. It’s easy to take the people you’re closest to for granted because you expect them to be there through thick and thin. However, when you do this, you risk losing your partner and as a result--they may seek out people who will give them the attention they’re not getting from you. Do you know how many divorces are a direct result of "taking your partner for granted?” I hear this in my office frequently--I often feel like I double as a divorce attorney! (Can you imagine if my walls could talk?) Heed my words and don't let it happen to you if you are in a happy relationship. And if you are looking for a happy relationship, look in the right places for the right types of singles and do keep the flame alive when you find him or her. Don't let the fire burn out if you care about your relationship.
Where do you rank your partner in your list of priorities?
When you think about the important people and commitments in your life, where does your partner fall on your list? Does your job come first? Do your children come first? How about your friends or your work outs? It may be understandable to put your children first, for example, depending on their age and stage in life, but are your children out of the house or in college? If so, it is a good idea to check yourself! Perhaps you have an unhealthy dependence on your adult children that will constantly cause a rift in your love life (not to mention their life). In reality, there’s no need to decide who’s more important. By working through this experiment in your head, you can gain insight into where your partner fits into your overall life. If there’s a huge gap between your kids, job, friends, and involvements, it’s possible that your partner feels undervalued. For example, if you’re at a party, see if you drop your partner in favor of others, leaving at the end of the evening without having exchanged more than a word or two. Even if your partner doesn’t admit to feeling abandoned, this lack of respect and attention will be experienced in a very negative way and over time, detract from your partner’s feelings toward you. He or she will lose interest in you eventually.
In conclusion, today, refuel and recharge your "attitude of gratitude." Do not underestimate the power of gratitude, appreciate and give thanks to all people in your life who matter to you--especially your love interest--says THE Florida Matchmaker! The more you feel grateful, the more you will have to be grateful for in life. Value your loved one with all your heart. Make them a priority. If you want a happy relationship--you can have one. In fact, this is our busiest month of the year and our schedule is filling up fast at both locations. Join our club at a time when many new people are joining too--you will be in GREAT company and you will be all starting at the same time too (like freshman in college)! "All of the good ones are not taken." Look at how amazing you are and you are reading this column! Bravo!
I look forward to seeing you soon and "Thank You" for following me for so many years! I am so grateful. Do tell your single friends and family members that there are plenty of quality singles in Florida--they just have to make the right moves to find him or her. It's all about connecting to the connector. It's not what you know; it's who you know! Our members get it!
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Kelly Leary, Founder and President of Revolution Dating has a master’s degree in psychology and 26 successful years in the dating industry. A top matchmaker, now known as THE Florida Matchmaker, she has been profiled by ABC News, The Palm Beach Post, PalmBeacher Magazine, The South Florida Business Journal, and numerous other media outlets.